My Sexy Sev
by Severia Dante
Summary: I'm new to Hogwarts, I'm Canadian, and I have the hots for Prof. Snape... I'm also slightly insane.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: It is only my wish to play with all the wonderful characters that J.K.Rowling has created... especially Sev. If they were mine, Sev would be in my bed at all times for my own viewing and playing pleasures... heheh.  
  
Chapter 1: My Intro  
  
To mostly everyone who has met and has been in his company, Severus Snape was the greasy git, the Death Eater loyal to You-Know-Who, a miserable bastard who's only happiness came from making those around him as miserable as he was. But to me he was more than that. He was an enigma. A puzzle, and a mystery. Not to mention a devilishly handsome prick who's silky tones caused shivers to run up my spine every time he purred in his low and sexy voice. The shivers where especially bad when that voice was directed at me. Yes, I know. I'm a bad, bad girl!!!  
  
It's not my fault I tell you!!! It's all that sexy bastard's fault. It is not fair to any female with taste to have to go through school with a person who is that hot.  
  
Anyway, as I was saying. My professor (yes, he is my professor..... Pity me because I'm his student and too young to bear his children sob) Yeah, well, he is my potions professor and the man's a genius, people have got to give him that. He knows everything there is to know about potions. I even heard that he had made his own potions but because he is a known Death Eater, err, let me correct that, because he is a known EX-Death Eater he wasn't given the credit for his work. The bastards.  
  
To think that this is the man that turned away from Voldemort and is rumoured to be helping Dumbledore and Harry Potter in their never-ending quest to vanquish the fucker. I mean, what's the point of turning if everyone is still going to treat you like a piece of shit the dog left on one of your oriental 'one of a kind' carpets??? What's the point, I ask you???!!! I totally understand the way the poor guy feels and secretly cheer him on when he fucks around with those stupid Gryffindors. Especially that asshole Weasel. Yup, yup. I love Draco's nickname for him..... Not to say that I don't also like the Weasels own nickname for Draco. Ferret.  
  
Aw!!!! They already have pet names for each other. gushes Isn't that so cute, and so GAY!!! And not the good kind of gay either.  
  
I don't have anything against gay's.... It's totally the opposite, which is to say that those ass-fuckers turn me on!!!! Oh, yeah!!! It wouldn't bother me if anyone of my friends where gay.... My guy friends anyway. It would take me a while to get used to having one of my female friends turn out to be lesbians or bisexual because I'm a girl and could potentially be a target.  
  
.....Though, I think that would be a very horrible, and very wrong choice on the part of the lesbian. I am NOT what anyone would want as girlfriend material, or even just a one time thing.... Not unless you are really drunk or really desperate.  
  
Unlike most people I know, I KNOW that I'm not beautiful or even just a bit pretty. I have a kind of Asian look going on, even though I'm not Asian. People asked me if I was Japanese, or if I was related to Cho Chang.... I mean, come ON!!! Cho Chang is one of the most beautiful chicks in Hogwarts. Hello!!!!! Of course, I'm not related to her. Beside her I'm a dude.... A pimple on a donkey's ass. Yup, that's me. I'm the pimple on the donkey's ass that everyone likes because I'm NICE, and sooooo likable.... That was sarcasm people.  
  
I don't know why people like me.... Most of the Slytherin's think I'm some brown-nose because all my teacher's like me, they actually said they enjoy talking to me and say that I'll go far, and that I'm "one of the best students they ever had they ever had the pleasure of teaching" (the teachers that is).... that's an actual quote.... From Professor McGonagall, no less.  
  
Of course, Professor Sexy, I mean, Snape, doesn't like me.... I don't think he likes anyone and only favours the Slytherin's because he wants to win the House Cup. I simply don't believe that he favours them because they are junior recruits to Voldemort. I will never believe that my Severus is in league with that kind of shit.  
  
Yeah.  
  
I love my Sev.  
  
And I shall never leave his side. 


	2. Chapter 2: My Story

Chapter 2: My Story  
  
Once upon a time, in a bedroom, far, far away, two people, a man and a woman, where having sex after one too many and conceived me... this is a true story. The story of my life. Isn't it wonderful!!!!  
  
Yeah.  
  
That's how my father met my mother... in a bar, yes. The Hog's Head, actually. They had gotten drunk. Father chased after Mother for more than half the night 'till finally Mother caved in and they went and got a room at the Leaky Cauldron. They didn't expect anything out of that night, except some relief. Instead, they got ME!!! The poor bastards.  
  
Imagine, having to raise me, pamper me, and deal with me for 18 years until they can finally consider me an adult and kick my sorry ass out of their home. They still have three more years to go before they can get rid of me, the suckers.  
  
Anyway, that's how I was conceived. But the real story begins about 15 years after that... the day my mom died.  
  
Yeah. She went and died on me. I didn't want her to, but she went ahead and did it anyway. And right in front of my eyes, too. The doctors said that the experience kind of messed my head up more than it was before. Said I'm showing signs of some sort of psychosis... I don't really see it, but I guess that's why we have doctors because we don't really see anything. My dad's in denial, I think. I accept what the doctors say and I secretly take the little blue pills they prescribed for me. I have to go and buy them with my money because dad doesn't believe that I am a psycho, or whatever, and therefore I don't need "them goddamn horse pills."  
  
Yes, pills. The things muggles use to cure, help, or fight against various illnesses and diseases.  
  
You see, at the time that Voldemort, yes I call him by his 'name'. I think it's just stupid how people call him 'You-Know-Who' or 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be- Named. Just stupid. And I tell them that, too. Made quite a few faces frown and quake, both in annoyance that I didn't uphold the fear of superstition kind of bullshit and in fear that I was going to somehow call him to me like some 'real-life' version of Candy-man.  
  
... Sorry, I tend to get a little side-tracked in everything I talk about.  
  
Anyway, way-back-when, my mom and dad got the feeling that it was a bit too dangerous to have and raise a kid in this kind of place. What, with people going missing and people being tortured and killed (not to mention what happened to the muggles around there!!), who wouldn't think that it was just a little bit dangerous. So, being one of the smarter people, they got up off their asses and hauled it right out of there as fast as they could get out. And halfway there I got bit seasick (I was in my mom's tummy at the time, you see), so I decided it about time to make myself known to the world... my mom gave birth to me a short while before they landed. One of the muggle sailors said it was something that I was born on the sea. Some sort of superstition. Anyway, all I know is that all that sea water really did something to me while I was on it... wasn't really what my parents expected a baby to be. For one, I was a quiet little fucker, and when they used to sit me up, I would just look at them with my eyes, not ever moving my head.  
  
I gave them the creeps that what I did. Once, I had heard them talking about how being born on the sea must have messed with my head or something... my auntie thinks that I'm some sort of 'empty vessel possessed by the devil'... her exact words. Can't you just feel the love????  
  
Anyway, anyway... I'm getting side-tracked, again. So I'll make this short.  
  
Because of the rise of the ever scary Lord Voldemort, my mom and dad moved out of there and headed to Canada... yes, Canada. I'm a peacekeeper!!! Well, not anymore.  
  
Ever since mom kicked the bucket dad couldn't handle her death and the fact that he would have to raise me all by his lonesome. So, being the ever considerate dad, we hauled it back out of Canada and right in the thick of what he and mom had been trying to run away from, from the beginning. Lord Voldemort.  
  
Yes, ladies and gentlemen. I do believe that he is resurrected and back in action. He's like the freakin' anti-Christ for fuck's sakes. You can't get rid of him just by rebounding the 'killing curse' at him.  
  
He's got to have a spectacular demise. Something I doubt that the skinny little shrimp for a hero we have, would ever be able to give to the freak bastard Voldemort.  
  
Yeah, I know about Harry Potter. On the way back to London, my dad spilled the beans and told me all about the magic world and that I was actually a pureblood witch. From a French family actually. Ancient family, according to dad. Well, whatever I said to him. As long as I get taught some real nasty spells and hexes, I'll be happy.  
  
He had already taught me quite a few of the more nastier hexes he knew. The numerous water rats in the storage hold of the ship where used for practise. I'm still wondering what the sailors are saying to explain the skinned, exploded and totally mutilated rats that where found there on the day we hit shore. I don't know. Don't really care.  
  
We live, right know with my dad's family. His mom and dad. He has three brothers and a sister. One of the brothers is dead, killed by the Dark Lord... you know, that is such a stupid name, but I guess it's also a name to be proud of. I would be if I had it... wouldn't be 'lord', though, would it???  
  
The other two brothers and the one sister live a bit away from the family house. Another one of the brother's was, umm, what's that word???  
  
......  
  
Anyway, grandmother and grandfather kicked him out for marrying a muggle... I learned that they are very strict about the whole pureblood thing. They kind of look down on dad for taking me and mom to go live in Canada as muggles. They're peeved at him but granny (she told me to call her that) granny said that they would forgive him soon anyway.  
  
I also have to call my granddad, 'grampy'... pretty stupid, huh??? Oh well, if it's what they want I'll indulge the old farts. They're pretty cool. As soon as I stepped foot into the huge ass mansion thing of theirs they were gushing all over me and my brother.  
  
Oh yeah, and did I mention I have a brother???  
  
I didn't.  
  
Oh well, I have a younger brother, at any rate. I would say smaller, but I'd be fibbin'. He's almost a foot taller than me and I'm four years older than him. It sucks I know but that way he takes care of me if anyone is bothering me. I don't really need it because I'm pretty good at all that self defence bullshit and I had a reputation of being one mean scrapper. But most of the time I don't feel like dealing with fighting or whatever bullshit the other people want to do, so I just get my brother to deal with it... that kid has really got a violence thing going on, he loves to cause people pain. Sometimes even me if I cause him grief. Lately, though, after I witness mom's murder and all that he's been like my watchdog or something, pushing people away if they so much as got too close to me.  
  
Not that I'm complaining or anything, I'm not. I feel real loved. Yup, yup. Dad, granny, Grampy and lil' big bro are really laying on the whole spoiling and comforting. Just yesterday I was just sitting in my awesome bedroom that granny and Grampy decorated for me (it's all old-time Goth- style... it's really cool, I love it!!!) and all of a sudden my bro comes in and tells me we're going to relaxing and stuff in the family room... I figured it was supposed to be a family thing, so I went with no complaint.  
  
When we got into the living room, I looked around. Granny was sitting in an old oak rocking chair, knitting god knows what. Grampy and dad where playing chess on one of those wizard chess things... I really want to learn how to play that shit!!! Anyway, I was looking around and all of a sudden I go and blurt out, "Where's mom?"  
  
Everything kind of stopped.  
  
Granny's knitting needle stopped it's continuous whirling, Grampy and dad looked like a still-life photograph and bro kind of gasped beside me.  
  
I guess I looked stricken and about to cry at that moment... because I sure felt like I was going to. And that's what happened. It was gradual though. I really tried not to cry... I had cried enough that night alone, I didn't want to go through that again. But as soon as I sniffled, Granny had jumped up from her rocking chair and was holding me close to her breast.  
  
That just got me going.  
  
Real soon I was just bawling. Everyone else scurried around, fluffing pillows, ordering the house-elves to get some hot chocolate with lots of marshmallows, and just trying to comfort me.  
  
Soon I was one the big comfy couch that was in front of the fireplace, leaning against Granny and holding on to her like a lifeline...  
  
And in a way I was.  
  
I was experiencing, what me and mom had dubbed, "Death's Blanket." We called it that because it was kind of like I was being surrounded by this real thick blanket. You know, those kind that are real comforting but could smother you if you got tangled in it??? Like that. But this wasn't your ordinary blanket, no sir. This blanket was just darkness and it comes at me at the corner's of my eyes. I get the feeling that it's supposed to be comforting but for some reason it just scares the shit out of me. And the darkness just keeps coming and pretty soon all I could see was Granny's face. It feels as though the darkness was suffocating me, like the less I could see the less air I had, and pretty soon all I could see was Granny's face in front of me and my hands in fists grasping at the front of her shirt. Granny's face was crinkled in concern and near-panic, but I could see that she didn't stop talking to me, not once did she stop... just the way mom always did when I went through this. I focused on Granny's face and tried with all my might to listen to her words, just the way I did with mom. And I listened so closely and soon I could tell that she wasn't talking, she was singing.  
  
After a while I could hear her words:  
  
"Hold on to me, love You know I can't stay long All I wanted to say was I love you And I'm not afraid  
  
Can you hear me? Can you feel me in your arms?  
  
Holding my last breathe Safe inside myself Are all my thoughts of you Sweet raptured life It ends here tonight  
  
I'll miss the winter A world of fragile peace Look for me in the white forest Hiding in a hollow tree  
  
I know you hear me I can taste it in your tears  
  
Holding my last breathe Safe inside myself Are all my thoughts of you Sweet raptured life It ends here tonight  
  
Closing your eyes to disappear You pray your dreams will leave you here But still you wake and know the truth No ones there  
  
Say goodnight Don't be afraid Calling me Calling me As you fade to black  
  
Say goodnight Don't be afraid Calling me Calling me Sweet raptured life It ends here tonight  
  
Holding my last breathe Safe inside myself Are all my thoughts of you Sweet raptured life It ends here tonight  
  
Holding my last breathe..."  
  
By the end of the song, I wasn't gasping and choking on the air. I had long since stopped crying but I continued to look at Granny's face and still clung to her. It was all that kept the blanket from wrapping around me.  
  
I stayed there until I fell asleep. I'm small, not even 5 feet tall, and the time I was starved at the hands of mom's murderer's got rid of my excess fat on my frame... I used to think I was big boned but apparently I was just fat. I used to weigh 130 pounds now I barely weigh 90 pounds. So it wasn't much work for either my dad or bro to carry off to my bed and tuck me in until the morning sun crept in and woke me from my crying induced sleep.  
  
That was one my more better sleeps I had in a while... and it would be one of the last I would have in quite while. 


	3. Chapter 3: My Beginning as a Witch

Chapter 3: My Beginning as a Witch  
  
Granny and Grampy took me to Diagon Alley to buy my wand... and also a whole load of shit that they claimed that I would need for my schooling in the world of wizardry. But... I don't think you need a whole wardrobe, make-up (courtesy of Granny) or half of the other stuff they bought me to go to school.  
  
Anyway, I had a wand and they had gotten me this real cute little kitty cat. He was all orange and his eyes where amber coloured... but I don't think they had that kind of cat there... I kind of overheard from one of the workers that they had to order it from nearly half way around the world!!! I know I had told them I had always wanted an orange kitty with red eyes but I didn't think they'd actually go through all that trouble to go and buy me a specially ordered, specially BRED, kitty from across the world!!! I guess I should be careful of what I say to them in the future. But this also tells me how much they really want to make me happy.  
  
It almost makes me want to cry the way they would do all that for me... gives me that warm, fuzzy feeling, you know???  
  
My wand was some sort of weird combination that had Granny and Grampy's eyebrows raised... it was pretty funny on Grampy's face because he's got such big, bushy white eyebrows that remind me of caterpillars. And they kind of point up at the ends like how my old drama teacher's did back in muggle high school. I laughed and they just kind of looked at me and smiled in a kind of relief... I guess they hadn't heard me laugh that whole week I had stayed there at their house.  
  
My home, I guess I should say, since I am going to be living there now, when I'm not schooling. It's kind of... comforting that I'll have somewhere to go and someone to go to when all is said and done. But still depressing that I won't have a mommy to go and cuddle and talk to about all my 'teenage girl' stuff. I guess that's what Granny's trying to be, and I love that about her. Some people would be all, like, 'get away from me' and 'you're not my mom' kind of bullshit, but not me. I like knowing that I still have a sort of mother-figure to look forward to talking to.  
  
Anyway, we had just walked out of the Apocrathy (think that's how you spell it) when I literally ran into a very solid, very TALL, person. Now, normally I wouldn't be fazed in a bit, but since I didn't have my normal girth I went flying towards the road and nearly got creamed by a passing horse pulling a carriage. The person though was really fast and had grabbed my small frame and pulled me aside, almost crushing me against his body... and what a body it was. I can almost say it was love at first sight. Or at least love at first grab.  
  
Anyway, before I could even process what had happened, Granny and Grampy where all over me, checking if I had any 'booboo's' and if 'anything hurt'.  
  
Sadly, before my 'saviour' could try and slink off and avoid the oncoming gushy 'thank-you's, Grampy pulled him back and him and Granny proceeded to give him the aforementioned thank-you's.  
  
Poor guy.  
  
Poor, but very sexy guy.  
  
He was a bit greasy looking and kind of a sour puss, but I loved him anyway.  
  
I loved him even more when I learned that he was to be my future Potions Professor at Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. All was right with the world... except for the fact that he didn't seem that particularly pleased that I was going to be his student.  
  
I ignored it for know and kind of guessed that that was how he always was... it kind of figured, you know.  
  
Anyway, I looked at Grampy and asked, "Grampy isn't he that famous Potions Master Severus Snape?"  
  
Grampy looked down at me and smiled really big.  
  
"Why, yes, that is, Emmy."  
  
Emmy... just to tell you that is not my name... that's the name Granny and Grampy call me. Kind of cute I guess, and I know they mean well, but come on!!! EMMY?????!!!  
  
Anyway, whatever.  
  
Severus, well, I guess I should start calling him 'Professor Snape', know, huh??? Anyway, Professor Snape raised his eyebrow when Grampy uttered their nickname for me... I just wanted to jump his bones right then, but I couldn't because he would probably sue for rape.  
  
Yeah, he looked down at me and muttered something about 'rabid-firsties'.  
  
I looked at him and frowned.  
  
"'Firstie'??" I asked.  
  
Granny laughed.  
  
"Oh, no!!! No, no, no, Professor Snape. Emmy, here is to be in fifth year." She looked at me. "But I guess one could mistake her for a first year."  
  
She laughed some more. Grampy joined her. Professor Snape just kind of looked at me in mild disbelief.  
  
I just looked at him.  
  
I think it kind of weirded him out because he started to get a bit shifty. Personally, I love that reaction, because that means that people are a bit intimidated by you or even a bit scared.  
  
The next thing I know, all of them where looking at me weirdly and so where some kids that where near us.  
  
"What??? Do I have something on my face???" My first reaction was, and my hands flew to my face.  
  
"Eh." Was all Granny could say.  
  
I put my hands down and looked at each of them.  
  
"...Did I say something???"  
  
"Uh, perhaps we should head down for some ice-cream now, shall we???" Grampy said in response.  
  
"I did say something, didn't I???" I pushed.  
  
Granny and Grampy where now trying to hassle me off to the ice-cream parlor across the street.  
  
"Wait!!! What did I say???" I asked again, planting my feet on the ground in an attempt to stop.  
  
"We'll talk about it later, Emmy." Granny said, looking embarrassed.  
  
"What??? No, Granny. I have right to know what I said!!"  
  
"'Tall, dark, and handsome.'"  
  
"Huh??" I turned around... or tried to turn around as Granny and Grampy still had hold of both my wrists.  
  
"You wanted to know what you said, did you not?" Professor Snape asked. His voice was like black silk. Deep and smooth... I loved him even more.  
  
"I did. I mean, I do!!!" I replied.  
  
"'Tall, dark, and handsome,' is what you said." He answered, the corners of his lips twitched upwards. Such soft looking lips, too.  
  
"...Oh." I looked at Granny and Grampy as they proceeded to try and deplant me, without making a scene. "Is that all??"  
  
Granny looked at me incredulously.  
  
"'Is that all?' Emmy, you... you shouldn't..." She seemed to be having a hard time finding the words to use. "You shouldn't say things like that. Especially in public."  
  
"Why??!!" I asked. That was really surprising to hear, you know. I thought what I said was a compliment, yet here they're making it out like I swore and spit in the guys face!!!  
  
"It's just..." Granny started.  
  
"...Improper." Grampy finished.  
  
"Improper???" I exclaimed. "How can-"  
  
"What they mean to say, child. Is that anything that resembles a compliment and is directed at me, is considered improper." Professor Snape said, his eyes trained on Granny and Grampy. He looked a bit peeved.  
  
Granny and Grampy flushed.  
  
"Ah ha!!! So you do think that what I said was a compliment." I said victoriously. I looked at Granny and Grampy. "At least someone does."  
  
I guess that was it for Grampy, because he finally let go of my wrist, and so did Granny. But before I could even think that I was free, he scooped me up into his arms and carried me away like I was a 3 year old!!!!  
  
"GRAMPY!!!!" I shrieked, but, besides wincing at my scream in close proximity of his ear, he ignored me. I looked back at Professor Snape and found him smirking at me... god's if I wasn't pissed off right then I probably would have came in my pants.  
  
At any rate, I yelled back at him before he could turn away.  
  
"And I'm NOT a child." I turned to Grampy. "No matter what everyone else thinks." 


End file.
